Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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