I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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