***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize