wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
