Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I have fence marks all over my body
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize