Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Randomize
