do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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