Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
