Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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