"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
it hurts more in the daytime
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
