It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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