just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
