Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
