I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
everyone is single if you try hard enough
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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