I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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