So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
