Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
