I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Randomize
