Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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