Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
