i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Randomize
