so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
