i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
