I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
that's an acceptable place to lick
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize