I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
this hospital has no fireball
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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