i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
