I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
