They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
