i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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