i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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