I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
foreskin is a definite game changer
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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