That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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