the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
