i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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