found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
