she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Sext me about skeletons
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize