I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
