My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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