Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
