im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
