I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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