Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
