R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
