Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
