Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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