Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
