Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
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I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
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I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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