he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
