I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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