Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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