We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
