Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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