if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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