DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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