Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
