I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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