Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
