you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He called his prostate his "boner button".
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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