she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.