Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.

  (586): View more from Michigan

  It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high

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  (586): There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction. (586): It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them (586): Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high http://tfl.nu/t60g
  Replies (9) Good night (3251) Bad night (818)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Writing my paper on freud at bar

  (917): View more from New York City

  ??

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children

  (917): View more from New York City

  Smooth

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  (203): Writing my paper on freud at bar (917): ?? (203): Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children (917): Smooth http://tfl.nu/hb6n
  Replies (8) Good night (1826) Bad night (843)
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  (949): View more from California

  i just wanna soil my oats bro

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  (949): i just wanna soil my oats bro http://tfl.nu/wcck
  Replies (8) Good night (1002) Bad night (715)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived

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  (207): Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived http://tfl.nu/2pbp
  Replies (18) Good night (940) Bad night (7475)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party

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  (814): there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party http://tfl.nu/p535
  Replies (17) Good night (5863) Bad night (707)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail

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  (216): So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail http://tfl.nu/m6e0
  Replies (9) Good night (1379) Bad night (3173)
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  (805): View more from California

  You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.

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  (805): You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed. http://tfl.nu/chu6
  Replies (7) Good night (1874) Bad night (3710)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight

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  (785): one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight http://tfl.nu/06gq
  Replies (12) Good night (2534) Bad night (1235)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.

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  (414): let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it. http://tfl.nu/b1tu
  Replies (10) Good night (1666) Bad night (597)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.

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  (303): No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to. http://tfl.nu/fzx1
  Replies (4) Good night (1836) Bad night (1189)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.

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  (540): I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night. http://tfl.nu/isgy
  Replies (1) Good night (634) Bad night (930)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.

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  (404): Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up. http://tfl.nu/ge7g
  Replies (5) Good night (547) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.

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  (903): I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot. http://tfl.nu/592z
  Replies (7) Good night (743) Bad night (355)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.

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  (305): I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle. http://tfl.nu/tqe0
  Replies (6) Good night (801) Bad night (381)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering

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  (856): I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering http://tfl.nu/ry4c
  Replies (7) Good night (643) Bad night (397)

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