We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.