dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
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This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
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In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.