as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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