ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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