I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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