the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I have post one night stand depression
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