i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
