Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
