It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
